<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><div dir="auto" style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><p class="MsoNormal"><b class="">Excerpts:</b> GENEVA—Attending a conference to discuss alarming new data on rising sea levels, a weary group of top climatologists suddenly halted their presentation Friday, let out a long sigh, and stated that the best thing anyone can do at this point is just try to enjoy the next couple decades as much as possible. … </p><p class="MsoNormal">Reiterating the need for people to live it up while they still can, the climatologists announced that if anyone was interested in joining them, they would be skipping the remainder of the conference to get completely shit-faced at the nearest bar.<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Times;" class=""><o:p class=""></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.theonion.com/sighing-resigned-climate-scientists-say-to-just-enjoy-1823265249" class="">https://www.theonion.com/sighing-resigned-climate-scientists-say-to-just-enjoy-1823265249</a></p></div></body></html>